Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Takes a Lickin

You know what never fails to gross me out? When athletes lick their fingers. Athletes from all sports do it, and it's sick.

QB: I'm sure you've seen a quarterback who licks basically his entire four fingers before getting ready to get the snap from the center. Has he ever considered that the ball touches the ground half the time? Ground that gets sweated, bled, and spit on? Has he ever considered that before he gets the snap his hands get intimate with the center's nether regions?
notable finger lickers: All NFL QBs

basketball: Have you ever seen a point guard lick his fingers while dribbling the ball upcourt? I suppose a basketball court is the cleanest playing surface when compared to those of other sports, but still. Sick.
notable finger lickers: Steve Nash

baseball players: Pitchers can't lick their fingers too much or else they'll get called for a ball by the umpire, but some pitchers early in their pre-pitch routine go from the tongue over to the rosin bag and then to the ball. You've got to think that there is some rosin residue from the pitch before and that can't taste good. In fact, I'm pretty sure infield dirt which is probably all over the ball tastes like crap also. The oddest thing I've ever seen is Paul Konerko's routine when he plays first base. He licks his fingers, scrapes the dirt, and then gets ready for the pitch. Why in the world would a first baseman need to lick his fingers?!?!?!

David Wright and Barry Bonds: And then we have these two. One of the first things I think of when I think about Barry Bonds is how he was caught on camera licking his bat. Weird, right? Why would you do that? Did you spill some ketchup on it? Even if you did, just wipe it with a tissue. Or get another bat; Lord knows you have a hundred of them. I thought that was the worst thing about Barry Bonds. Forget steroids, that somewhat makes sense, but bat licking?!?!?! And then while attempting to find a picture of Barry Bond's bat lick I found this!



David, I used to be such a big fan of yours. You're an animal.

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