Alternate Reality

Imagine with me, if you will, an alternate universe. A universe that is not too different from our own.

In this alternate universe, Soulja Boy's music is not played on radios.

Therefore, Soulja Boy's "Crank Dat" was not a hit.

Therefore, nobody is familiar with the line, "Superman that ho"

Therefore, Dwight Howard is not inspired to wear a Superman costume during the Slam Dunk contest. (Remember, Dwight Howard did the whole Superman thing because he liked that song)

Therefore, Dwight Howard isn't nearly the household name he is today. In addition the comparisons are not made between one "Superman" (Howard) and another "Superman" (Shaquille O'Neal)

The question is: Did Soulja Boy (exhibit A) play a very significant part in the marketability of Dwight Howard (exhibit B).

Exhibit A: Soulja Boy


Exhibit B: Dwight Howard


Yes and No.

Yes, he played a significant part in making Dwight Howard popular, but eventually Dwight Howard would have been popular because of his jovial and likeable nature. Soulja Boy just helped him get there faster.

Dwight Howard should send a residual check every month for the next year to Soulja Boy.

New Email Address

If you have any questions for me, any comments, or any blog entry ideas, please send them to tonibroxton@gmail.com

Lookalike Friday 8

Sorry everyone. I was away this weekend and forgot to update before leaving.

Anyway....

Lookalike Friday time!

This week we have hotshot third baseman Evan Longoria of the Tampa Bay Rays. I thought to myself, boy...doesn't he look a lot like...

Mark Wahlberg?

The Search for The Answer

This is the end of the line for Allen Iverson.

If A.I.'s career was the movie Zoolander, we would be at the part where Hansel and the DJ breakdance fight.

You know there's probably nothing great left, but you watch just to see if there is. And then you watch the rest of the movie and there really is nothing great left. All the quotable quotes are said, and all the absurdly funny moments have passed. Sure Derek unleashes Magnum, which somehow stops a ninja star mid-flight, but honestly nothing in the last part of the movie ranks in the top 50 best moments of the entire movie.

Allen Iverson has had his best moments, his MVP, his run at a championship, his scoring titles, his brief time as the "face of the league". Now all we're left with is a guy who is pretty much useless for most franchises out there.

He won't stop shooting eleventy billion times a game. Iverson is a volume shooter. He makes 2 of the first 11 to get his rhythm going and sinks 7 of the last 10 to get 9/21 for the game. This is a deeply embedded part of his game, and he can't be effective without shooting 20+ shots a night. In Detroit he shot a little under 7.5 less shots per game than his career average, and his field goal percentage was one of the worst of any year in his career.

He can't be built around. This is well documented, and it's not like you're going to start building a team around a 34-year old anyway.

He can't become a role player, and he won't come off the bench. The only thing he knows how to do is handle the ball and create opportunities for himself and his teammates. That's not what role players do, yet that is the only role he is competent in playing. Therefore, he can never be a role player. Role players shoot 7 shots and make 4 of them and get scraps of stats across the board - not very Iversonian.

The only teams remotely interested in Iverson are the Clippers and the Grizzlies. Iverson could certainly be a focal point of either offense while he's on the court, but I'm sure he'd rather play for a contender.

Yet, no contender would stand to benefit from Iverson's skill set.

This is a Catch-22 if I've ever seen one. Iverson can't play for a contender because he can't be a role player. Iverson can't play for a non-contender because he gains nothing career-achievement-wise by playing for such a team.

Though true Catch-22s leave the victim with no choice, Iverson has a couple of options.

1. Retire.
2. Take the veteran minimum and sit on the bench for a contender. Play 12 minutes a game and shoot as many shots as humanly possible during that time. Hopefully try to win the ever elusive ring.
3. Sign with a crappy team and score as many points as you can over the next 2 years to try and get past Dominique Wilkins (2685 pts away) and crack the top 10 in all time scoring. Actually he needs to get past Oscar Robertson (2727 pts away) because Kobe is right behind him, and will crack the top 10 before Iverson.

I don't expect him to retire, but I also don't expect him to sign with a contender for a reduced role.

For someone who had such a loud career both on and off the court, and for someone who always caught your attention, whether it be fan, opposing player, or opposing coach, it will be an uncharacteristically quiet exit. My guess is that he will sign with the Clippers and fade into the night, probably citing an injury as the main culprit. He will retire after next season, and wait for his Hall of Fame induction.

Not a bad way to head into retirement, if you ask me.

About Schmidt

Tomorrow Jason Schmidt returns to the pitcher's mound for the first time since June 16, 2007 - a little more than two years.

Here are the major questions that need to be answered.

1. How will his shoulder hold up?
The length of his start will obviously depend on his effectiveness, but if the Dodgers can stake him a big lead early, we will be able to get the best idea of where he is health-wise.

2. What kind of pitches will he throw?
This is Jason Schmidt's pitch distribution with his best years in San Francisco:

Year	Fastball	Changeup	Curveball	Slider
2002	73.4%	8.2%	7.0%	11.5%
2003	75.7%	13.5%	4.2%	6.6%
2004	64.6%	25.8%	3.6%	5.7%
2005	63.0%	23.3%	6.6%	6.7%

As you can see, Schmidt was a primarily fastball-changeup guy. He would overpower you with the fastball and keep you off balance with the changeup. He has a slider, but used used it less often as the years went by.

Obviously Jason Schmidt has to reinvent himself if he wants to succeed. He can't blow guys away anymore, so he's going to have to find other ways to get them out.

He can stick to his fastball-changeup routine, but he's going to have to start nibbling at corners and pitching smarter than he ever did before. Greg Maddux used a fastball-changeup combo and basically nothing else and everyone knows how well he fared with it.

Alternatively, Schmidt can bring back the slider and bring it into the mix, along with potentially his curveball. It goes without saying that he has to throw these pitches well, but if he can, it will place less of a burden on his being accurate.

Ideally, I would like to see Schmidt throw a 60-20-20 split of fastballs, changeups and sliders.

3. What can you expect from him?
I think if Jason Schmidt can give the Dodgers 6 innings and give up 4 runs or less, that should be considered a successful outing. The Ks don't matter. He can get 2 or 12, but I don't think it will mean much. Too many variables go into Ks to make any conclusions from one outing.

4. If he pitches well, will the Dodgers still go out and get pitching help?
In my opinion, the Dodgers absolutely should go get more pitching regardless of Schmidt's performance on Monday.

If he can consistently give the Dodgers at least 6 innings and 4 or less runs given up, then he will be just the fifth starter they've been looking for. McDonald and Weaver can move back to the bullpen permanently for this season as long guys. Hong Chih Kuo, Cory Wade, Ronald Beer Belly-sario and Will Ohman were all supposed to figure prominently this season in the bullpen. They're all injured. In their absence, Torre has turned to Brent Leach, Claudio Vargas, and Scott Elbert. That's not going to cut it.

The Dodgers have to make some moves, and a few relievers out there worth trading for are George Sherrill of the Orioles, Jason Frasor of the Blue Jays, and good old Joe Beimel of the Nationals.

If the Dodgers can get both Sherrill and Frasor, bullpen issues are OVER. Guaranteed.

It will be really exciting to see what Schmidt has to give, as well as his approach to facing batters. Even if he has a really bad outing, the Dodgers should give him a couple more chances to prove himself.

They owe him that much. (Along with $15.2 million in salary this year)

David vs Goliath

David Beckham returned to the Galaxy last week from his 5-month loan to AC Milan. For those who aren't up to speed, he let it be known that he wanted to stay with AC Milan, but negotiations for the Italian team to purchase him from the Galaxy fell through. He finished up his time with AC Milan and is now back to Los Angeles.

For what it's worth, the Galaxy defeated the lowly New York Red Bulls, the Detroit Lions of the MLS. But the whole Beckham thing hasn't really been about wins and losses. At least not anymore.

The Beckham Experiment, to many, is officially a failure. Why? Because 90% of the United States thinks so, and nothing that David Beckham can do can change it. Even if the Los Angeles Galaxy outscore opponents by 6 goals each game and destroy everyone en route to an MLS Cup, perceptions won't really change.

I don't really blame him, though. David Beckham's quest to raise the sport of soccer into the consciousness of America was sabotaged early and often.

Fundamentally it was going to be tough because Beckham is a table setter. He enhances the play of those around him. Many times, the things that Beckham does well go unnoticed. America is uninterested in role players.

Then he got injured. America has no mercy for the weak.

Then the Galaxy decided even though they were spending eleventy billion dollars on David Beckham, spending another few million to get some decent defenders and a decent goalie wasn't worth it. The Galaxy have essentially been the Clippers of the MLS while Beckham has been with the team. America has no tolerance for losers.

Finally, Beckham officially wanted out. He wanted to stay in Italy and play with his fellow Europeans. He didn't want to come back to Los Angeles if he didn't have to. America rejects you; you don't reject America.

Beckham will probably opt out of his Galaxy contract at the end of the year and most likely sign with a club team in Europe. He will probably never set foot on another converted-from-an-NFL-field soccer pitch in the United States ever again.

It seems like there are a lot of people who now hate David Beckham for trying to stay in Milan. I'm not one of those people.

I am a realist.

If something has gone completely not according to plan, I'm going to try to find a way out of it. That's what Beckham did, and that's what I would have done.

Let's say you did something against the rules, like leaving early from work without telling anyone and getting paid for it or calling in sick but not really being sick at all. Let's say you were pretty sure that you weren't going to ever have to own up to it. Now if someone goes around the office the next month asking everyone if they ever left work early or took a sick day without actually being sick, and everyone else was saying "no", wouldn't you say "no" also, just to avoid the hassle of having to explain yourself about something that is done and over with? I absolutely would! And I absolutely would lie to a reporter if I took steroids and was asked if I had ever taken steroids. Why would you say "yes" when there's no proof against you? Why would you bring that upon yourself? Everyone likes to say that if they were A-Rod they would have admitted to Katie Couric in 2007 that they used steroids instead of lying about it, but when push comes to shove most people would lie and not even flinch.

But I digress.

The MLS will not reach levels of popularity even remotely close to baseball, basketball and football in the United States anytime soon. The obstacles in the way are too big to be conquered by any one soccer player. There will be more like Beckham to come in the future, though probably none with the expectations the English midfielder faced.

Ultimately, the MLS will not be a major force in the sporting world unless a number of players raised and trained in the United States with skill and marketability show loyalty and commitment to the growth of MLS.

When you think about David Beckham and his impact on soccer in America, don't hold him to the standard of his Biblical namesake. The fact that people are even talking about the MLS should be enough to consider The Beckham Experiment a success.

Lookalike Friday 7

Oh yeah, Lookalike Friday time!

We're switching it up! This week we have the Washington Nationals "W" logo. I thought to myself, boy...doesn't it look a lot like...

The W from the Walgreens logo?